
Volcano‑Top Yoga Retreat
I’m finding my inner zen atop an active volcano. I’ll descend—and answer emails—on Sunday, April 19, 2025. Fireproof mats recommended.
I’m finding my inner zen atop an active volcano. I’ll descend—and answer emails—on Sunday, April 19, 2025. Fireproof mats recommended.
I’ve been tapped to negotiate peace treaties with Martians. Expect my triumphant (or abducted?) return on Friday, December 12, 2025. Earth time, of course.
Currently attending Hogwarts (or so the owl post tells me). I’ll Apparate back to my desk on Wednesday, September 3, 2025—no promise on the spell check, though.
Heads up: I’ve volunteered for a top‑secret zombie survival bootcamp. I’ll reply once I’ve mastered brain‑evading techniques on Monday, October 6, 2025. If it’s urgent—well, you’d better outrun me.
Aloha! I’m off perfecting my tan lines and sampling every frozen cocktail on the menu. I’ll be back to the real world on Thursday, August 14, 2025 (assuming my sunscreen holds up).
I’m currently orbiting Mars and will touch down on Tuesday, July 21, 2025. If this is urgent, fire off a flare—or just resend after I’m back on Earth.
My inbox is now on autopilot. I’ll return on Tuesday, August 2, 2025 and personally deactivate the robots so I can get back to you.
Ahoy! I’ve sailed off the grid in search of buried treasure. I’ll be docking back at my desk on Tuesday, July 6, 2025. Until then, send carrier pigeons or try again later.
I’m OOO recharging my brain cells with zero Wi‑Fi, lots of books, and questionable hiking boots. Back online Tuesday, July 2, 2025 — messages will be answered once I rediscover civilization.
Greetings from the year 3025! I’m testing a prototype time machine and can’t respond until I return to 2025 on Tuesday, July 29, 2025. If you don’t hear from me by then, send snacks.