reply.ooo

Marcus Leung has left the building (and his inbox) in protest of too many meetings. He’ll return on Wednesday, August 21, 2025, assuming snacks are provided.If you need help, chant “MARIAAAA” three times loudly.

Sasha Velez is out of office and likely floating somewhere in low Earth orbit. She will re-enter the atmosphere on Friday, August 9, 2025.Until then, you’re in the capable (ish) hands of Doug.

This is an automated response. Tyrell Morgan is currently out of the office until Monday, August 12, 2025. No one knows where he went. There were rumors of a llama farm.In his absence, please consult your inner strength — or maybe Nina.

Hey!I’ve traveled to the year 2125 to study the ancient practice of inbox zero. I’ll return to your timeline on Tuesday, August 13, 2025.Until then, direct your questions to Rico — unless it’s quantum mechanics. He’s only good with Excel. See you in the present,Jamila Hart

Greetings,The human formerly known as Alexis Tran is currently out of office until Thursday, August 8, 2025.Until then, I—her AI assistant—am in charge. Unfortunately, I was only trained on memes and sarcasm.Try contacting Debbie if you need real help. She’s 84% reliable. Sincerely,Not Alexis

Hello!I’m out of the office until Friday, August 23, 2025, doing extremely important research on the art of napping and snack grazing.If your matter can’t wait, Marvin in Ops might help. Or stare into the void. Same result. Powering down,Lana Whitaker

In a world where deadlines lurk and emails haunt your dreams… one man vanished without warning.That man is me, Derek Lin. I’ll return on Monday, August 19, 2025 — unless I win the lottery or join a goat yoga commune.For now, consult Aisha, the Keeper of Knowledge (and calendars). Best of luck,Derek Lin

Hi there,I’m currently OOO, chasing seagulls and bad decisions on a beach somewhere. I’ll be back on Wednesday, August 14, 2025, with a questionable tan and an even more questionable inbox.In the meantime, try asking Tina from Marketing — she seems responsible. Stay sandy,Bradley Mendoza

I’m honing my underwater basket‑weaving skills (it’s a thing). I’ll resurface—and reply—on Monday, March 10, 2025. Please note: Wi‑Fi doesn’t work well at 20 feet depth.

I’ve gone on strike from being an adult—no bills, no chores, no email. I’ll reluctantly rejoin civilization on Tuesday, November 18, 2025. Send coffee.